A Little Help From Our Friends

(Photo Credit Substack)

A little help from our friends is what my husband and I offered a small, female sparrow in distress this past week. This poor creature's tiny foot was lodged tightly within a crack of a bamboo pole that was being used to help stabalize a large jade plant. Many birds had landed previously upon the top of the pole and would sing away or enjoy the view.

I did not notice the fluttering at first, because I was engaged in my morning routine of refilling our bird baths and watering plants. Richard pointed over and said, I think this one might be in trouble? Not wanting to frighten her anymore than necessary he ran to get my gloves and I gently pulled the bamboo pole out and laid it down in the cool, wet grass. Almost immediately, her thrashing about ceased and she looked around and I reassured as gently as I could that help was on its way. After all she had been suspended upside down and for how long we did not know trying to free her foot on her own.

I slipped the gloves on and took my index finger and lightly stroked her head while Richard tried to pry apart the spot where her tiny foot was caught. First time around the tool was too small and could not widen the crack. Requiring a larger one, he sprinted back to the garage in search of what he hoped would do it. As soon as he retuned he wedged it in, several wiggles later she swiftly flew off. What remained behind was the bamboo pole, with a tiny speck of blood upon the crack and the two of us realizing it took a team to safely unleash her back into the wild. This would have been a far more tricky job had only one of us been at the helm, yet with both hands on deck, we did it with the least amount of continued stress for the little one.

All morning long I’ve been pondering how we all can become trapped from time to time in the tiniest of cracks or the most gaping of holes. Trying perhaps with all our might to free ourselves and unable to do so on our own. Needing and requiring the help from another and perhaps an element of surprise might become ours at who or what may answer the call?

This little one hanging upside down by its most tender and tiny foot could not have survived long. It did not have within it the ability to free itself and her survival was relying upon assistance. I have no doubt each of you might recall a time such as this within our own lives? Perhaps not as dire as our sparrow friend, yet a pivotal moment when either we were who showed up or someone did for us?

I have a handful of these moments and some I have already written about. When I knew my parents needed to speak to one another before my mother shed her earth suit. They had been divorced for decades, yet without her consciously expressing anything to me, her heart contained language that needed to find its way to my father’s. They spoke on a Saturday morning and she left her body in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

(My mom with her arms around a first friend in 1922, Missoula, Montana.)

My father, when he thought everyone expected him to have brain surgery at the age of ninety-four which would only have given him four months more to live at most. When I saw him upon my arrival to his hospital room staring at me in with confusion and utter fright, I knew. He was playing a part, being a good soldier and lining up to do what he thought everyone felt he should be doing. I sat beside him and asked him what he wanted and let him know that whatever decision he made was courageous, because it was his. He opted out of surgery and went home on hospice to say his intentional and loving good-byes to family and friends.

One I have not shared before is when I was newly teaching in Utah and hanging out at Jodi and Keith’s house. Jodi and I taught second grade together. I picked up a picture of a really darling looking young man from a basket full of photos and asked who he was? Keith said, that’s my best friend, Richard, and he’s younger than you are, blah, blah, blah. I didn’t care, we were talking about three years and I wondered inwardly why they had never thought to introduce us? Shortly after inquiring about Richard, we were off on a cross skiing adventure and I knew. I had not been in a long term relationship for several years and was growing so weary of the dating scene. Richard later shared with me that not long before we met, he had prayed that he would meet a petite brown eyed gal and then felt a little embarrassed being so forth coming with his request. Here we are, forty-four years later with a little help from our friends, Jodi and Keith, who introduced us in the winter of 1979.

We simply do not have to feel as if we must do this life alone. It takes courage to reach out, to ask, to inquire, and to trust that even when doubt enters, we believe our wires are crossed, worry we're invisible, or buy into the crazy chatter our incessant monkey minds love to throw our way; that it’s not the truth of what might and can possibly be. Let’s never forget that we can always use a little help from our friends. Just as that wonderful Beatles song, With a Little Help from My Friends, penned in 1967, by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, the dynamic duo. Ringo, was the lead singer, a rare and beautiful moment to shine for him with Paul and John as his back up. An opportunity he’ll never forget nor will many of us, as it was made possible with a little help from his friends!

“We need joy as we need air. We need love as we need water. We need each other as we need the earth we share.” ~ Maya Angelou