“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation: it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” Michael J. Fox
My experimenting and practicing acceptance has covered a wide swath. What I am noticing about myself is that when I actually use the two words, “I accept” and then place afterward the person, situation, challenge that I am enmeshed within, something within me has been softening, shifting and feels less raw and edgy.
My former white knuckle approach of grasping and gripping onto rather than opening, releasing and asking for the highest outcome when situations are not what I believe they should be and or causing me discomfort isn't visiting as often as she used to.
Is this ever something that is a full on 100% in these earth suits of ours? I think not because it is part of this human experience. Too often I feel that acceptance gets thrown into the same swirling tub with resignation or this is just how it is, yet of course, I am not speaking of acceptance ever in terms of any kind of physical or emotional abuse. That is never okay nor is anyone ever deserving of such treatment.
I can accept the loss of my son, Douglas, to the disease of addiction and I can also not understand how such a vibrant, intelligent, funny and deeply loved soul could have succumbed to the grip of pain meds after a routine surgery?
Tossing and turning this painful and harsh reality around like I’ve jammed a bunch of heavy blankets and quilts in an over loaded dryer. Clunking and spinning round and round has been my brain’s hamster wheel habitat until it simply wasn’t any longer. No one could have convinced me to bail off of it any sooner than I did. However, once I did jump, I realized that acceptance of his loss even though I can curse it like a sailor allowed me to truly begin to heal and to slowly parse out how to be in a mother/son relationship with him now.
The energy expended in resistance and often disbelief alchemized and channeled itself into something life giving that is still birthing itself and often remains a mystery. I don’t have to know how everything is going to turn out as I have been shown that whatever it is I will be able to get through it because I have.
“Acceptance means being with things as they are, not turning away and not trying to shape them to our will.” Mirabai Starr
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