Every morning, I wake up. And then I just let go. I let go of the day before. Finally. It takes my slumber to do so. And I let go of tomorrow too. Preemptively. I look at what’s directly in front, that moment, those minutes. That (and only that) is what helps me out of bed. I let go of my quest for perfection ~ Love is not perfect, so I let it go. I vow to love as best I can. I let go of expectations—the ones I have for myself, and the ones I have for you. I let go of judgments—those I harbor within myself, for myself, and those I harbor for you. Judgments and expectations do not serve my spirit. Or yours for that matter. I let go of impatience.
Impatience is such a selfish thing. And I let go of some of my lofty, faraway goals. Goals are good, but if they are unidentifiable because of their distance from me, if they are merely elusive, cloudy dreams, I simply let them float away. I let go of blame ~ I try like hell to let go of my insecurities. There are many, so this takes time. And I try like hell to let go of my resentments. There are some, and they are poison. Resentments are sour pickles, left in the fridge too long. I breathe out my tears, exhale my fears, and I let go of all my “past history” years. Regrets are filled with pining, sorrow, and I will not hold space for them in my heart or head. I try really hard to let go of pain—the stuff I carry around. The heavy, life-sapping, exhausting stuff. I let go of my basket full of wiggling, blood-sucking worms. Blame is a selfish thing too.
I let it go, I watch as it dissolves into nothing, right into the day—and that nothing becomes something that no longer hurts me in any way. I let go of all the advice, and all the self-improvement platitudes. All the well-intended words. Words become dust in the wind. I send those words right down the river to fill up the sea. It is action, not words that has always set me free. I let go of the need to be everything to everyone all the time. I let go of my need to feel needed. Every morning, I wake up, and then I just let go. And I just am. I let myself be. And that’s when I feel the most powerful. Filled with fire and a freshness fierce. Filled to the brim with promise and mindful presence. I am unknown, to myself, to you, and I am an adventurer. I am a listener, a seeker. I eat some prayers for breakfast, and I sip on a warm cup of ideas.
I act on impulse, which is the opposite of my nature. I am careful, but I do not hesitate. Miraculously, that seems to open doors. Doors to life. My life. My beating, seeping, divine, and ever-creeping, One and only life. The moment in front is all I ever need. *Author Kimberly Valzania*
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