Discovering Our Way

I reached out to my dear friend, Penny, last night who recently lost her precious husband. We have known one another for over a decade because of child loss. She shared that she had looked into a group for those who have lost their partners and found so much of what they were expressing she could not relate to. Rather than finding the connections she had sought and hoped for, she felt disconnected and began questioning herself as to why she was not experiencing her loss in the ways that they were?

Penny chose to do a deep dive to find her inner wise women who held the answers she was seeking. What she discovered after spending time within herself was to merge both of the losses into one, rather than keeping them distant and separate as two distinct entities. Both could come to visit and to stay for as long as needed together or as individuals, yet she didn’t have to feel the overwhelming need to scurry between houses so to speak. Experiencing the constant tension and worry that she might have spent too long with one and not been attentive to the other fell away. This has invited spaciousness for Penny rather than constriction and does not feel as overwhelming because this is what she is needing. She discovered it by not trying to fit into a skin that another might wear, which works for them, yet she grew the one she was in need of now.

Penny’s narrative is such a vital reminder to me that I can I can read books, listen to podcasts, seek counsel and each of these are tools that may benefit me, yet in the end the only path that is sustainable long term and makes any sense begins and belongs solely to me. I will find my truth within myself, It does not require an explanation to anyone unless I choose and there is no one size fits all.

Our path is as unique as we are and it takes time to try on all the different skins, yet ultimately the one that fits and feels the best is the one that we are wearing. When it begins to feel itchy, constrictive and outgrown, it will be shed and a new one will replace it which allows for continued wiggle room and grace.

Penny shared with me finding her skin and I’m learning, growing and shedding right alongside of her. My deepest gratitude to you, Penny, for this peek into your world as it is helping me in mine and will ripple forth as these kinds of things do when we speak and send our truths out into the ethers.