Getting To Know My Inner Child

I am forever grateful to Evelyn, a dear friend and mentor who first introduced me to my inner child over two decades ago. I was not really familiar with this and she suggested I first find a picture of my little one when I still contained all of my magic. I knew just which picture to choose and she suggested that I look at it daily and simply check in with her to see how she was feeling and doing.

I soon learned that just like the practice of meditating, there was no right or wrong way and what I desired for my inner child to know is that I had her back, she could feel anything she needed to and that I wasn’t going anywhere. What I soon learned is that she really desires to just BE the kid, does not want to be making big decisions (nor should she be), yet adores being a part of them. There have even been times when I’ve gone within and she tells me she’s “busy” so come back later. This always brings a smile because I wager to guess she is parroting back to me what she might have heard often as a child, “In a minute.”

Learning that each of us contains this very young part of ourselves that still requires what it might not have received as a child. Even the most evolved of parents are operating from what they grew up with and knew. A valuable realization for me has been that most times when I am feeling afraid, angry and frustrated, it’s the inner child who is. What has felt like medicine for me is to pause, go within and allow her the full breadth of whatever it is she is feeling and to not rush or hurry her along.

For some who say they cannot easily access their inner child it has been suggested to imagine a frightened and even neglected animal and how would the trust be fostered Perhaps just sitting quietly and allowing our child the freedom to come out as they feel comfortable to do so. Perhaps they were not patiently listened to, felt rushed to hurry through whatever was stirring within them, did not feel seen, heard, or might have even wondered if they had landed in completely the wrong family? One could have a child who is ready to engage immediately and others may need some time and it's all exactly as it needs to be for now.

Most of the inner child work that I’ve witnessed within myself and in others has shown me that our inner child simply desires to be just that, the kid. Not the one in the driver seat making the decisions, yet acknowledging that they too have voices that desire to be heard.

No matter how evolved our parents were as they were raising us, they are human and with that comes the understanding that they parented with what they were capable of. I remember telling my own two that their father and I hoped they would take what they had liked about our parenting and discard what they did not. Thus allowing for continued healing of the past generational wounding that is handed down to us and often times unknowingly.

I have benefitted from my ongoing learning with inner child work by listening weekly to Tosha Silver: www.toshasilver.com in her Outrageous Openness Forum. She incorporates this vital healing practice almost weekly and it’s a muscle that I’ve been strengthening so it’s becoming more natural to me over time. My wee one and I are deeply connected now and we’re both benefitting from working together and as a team.

My sister, Carol, on the left, my mom looking at me at about age four and my brother, Rick. I wore every petticoat I owned to create that great poof. I had watched the movie, The King and I and wanted my red dress to look just like Deborah Kerr's. ☺️