Painting by Ginger, Kyle's mom
“What are you going to do with all that dark? Find a way to glow in it.” ~ Amanda Torroni
Virginia Rosenberg asks:
Did you find a way to glow in the dark?
What emerged for you in 2023?
Choose 3 words to describe your year.
What darkness did you encounter?
What light awakened or inspiration glimmered?
What lessons did you learn?
What will you cherish from this time in your life?
The concluding of a year beckons a reflective time and it’s fascinating for me because since I am no longer in the work force nor are raising children sometimes the months begin to blend into one another and finding distinctive hallmarks is a little trickier.
One topic that is explored often in my conversations is the longing for participating in endeavors that light one up. Sensing and feeling that inner spanda, the leap within. A faithful guide for me is to, act as if. I infused my fifth grade classroom the last five years I was teaching with what I imagined I would be immersed within as a hospital chaplain. Our classroom was a safe haven, one where everyone was encouraged to share and a deep sense of belonging to one another was grown. We glowed and laughter was abundant. It was preparing me for what was on the horizon.
Something that has emerged for me in 2023, is an increased trust and heeding the wise counsel of my body and intuitive sense. Second guessing and hesitating is taking more of a back seat and what a practice this continues to be for me. Witnessing how I’m looking within first for my guidance and how often it’s simply waiting for me.
A darkness that was encountered was the tragic fire on our beautiful island home of Maui. I am acutely aware of so much that has been lost, yet within the loss, something is always found. I keep a fire blazing within me that I tend to faithfully. Tossing into it that which is no longer serving me. Worrisome, controlling, doubt filled thoughts that have been simmering for far too long find themselves transforming into glowing embers of ash awaiting transmutation.
I am cherishing in this season of life how I am intentionally choosing to show up. Remaining mindful that I first must be present to myself before I can be to another. Even if my showing up is twenty percent, that’s good enough for now. I am noticing how my should’s are becoming less of a frequent flyer in my thoughts.
Reflecting upon these questions Virginia poses are worthwhile and we can of course create our own inquiries too. This is a practice that serves us well and one worth embracing and it only requires a pause. Perhaps we might be surprised with what is illuminated? I know I have been.
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