Your great mistake is to act the drama as if you were alone. As if life were a progressive and cunning crime with no witness to the tiny hidden transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely, even you, at times, have felt the grand array; the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding out your solo voice. You must note the way the soap dish enables you, or the window latch grants you freedom. Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity. The stairs are your mentor of things to come, the doors have always been there to frighten you and invite you, and the tiny speaker in the phone is your dream-ladder to divinity.
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation. The kettle is singing even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots have left their arrogant aloofness and seen the good in you at last. All the birds and creatures of the world are unutterably themselves. Everything is waiting for you. ~David Whyte
This poem is fitting for me as I sit here the “morning after” and reflect and I ponder. Our family has just moved through a critical crisis time, a time where I am thousands of miles away from those I love and want to feel supportive of.
As I received the news of a dire health issue of one of my loves I needed to allow it to move through me and to ask for the right actions. What instantly came in was to call upon all my prayer warriors and holders of the light to allow them in so that the support and flow could be felt far and wide.
What could I do? I could be the one to send information as we received it and become a clearing house of sorts so that my family members did not have to be taken out of the present moment and worry that someone was forgotten and not informed.
In the telling, in the sharing, in the easing into the conversation which Whyte speaks of, which was not really easing as I sent a firehose of information as I received it. Everyone sprung into action and said they were on it. My loved one’s name was included in prayer lists at churches, Facebook communities, candles were lit and so many other amazing acts of kindness have come our way.
A group of dear bereaved mommas thanked me for allowing them to be a part of his healing team. My response was that in almost fourteen years of not having my son, Douglas, earth side that this IS something that I have learned. I cannot and will not suffer in silence and believe the false narratives that my mind might feed me that everyone has full lives, they are dealing with their own challenges and the list goes on.
I called upon a dear friend who is recovering from Covid 19, another who has a husband in the throes of his health issues, one who was getting on a plane, not one of them said, “Oh, this is not a convenient time for me to hear this.” Rather, they paused, responded with care and have been checking in to see how everyone is doing and feeling. This is what showing up looks and feels like and it is vital to feel these heart connections and tethers when life goes off the rails.
So today as I awakened in the wee hours and am giving thanks that we moved through one big hurdle.There will no doubt be more, yet I am reminded of the gift of allowing others in to offer their support and help. There were and are so many holding us in their thoughts for the most positive outcomes. Each would have been denied this opportunity to gather, to rally, to hold, to uplift, to say their mantras, prayers and healing affirmations if I had believed the lies of the ego mind and not settled within my heart for my next right actions.
My deepest gratitude from our family and my extended family for holding our hands and hearts during such a critical event. I used a powerful tool that I learned after the loss of my son, I do not and I will never do any of this life stuff in isolation. I have to have my community and I suspect each of you might as well. If you don’t know who they are yet, go find them, and if you do, lean into them, find respite and give thanks. I know I am.
(Buddha held the space for me as I arranged rocks, dug and poured out my feelings. He reminds me that I don't hold the world all by myself, nor do I have that kind of power. There is an infinite plan at work that I may not always understand, yet I'm trying to learn how to trust it. I couldn't believe that he's still smiling after all I dumped on him.) 😊
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