It's Okay to Ask for Help

Hey there,

I understand the tremendous courage it takes to reach out to another on this path that you never, ever imagined walking, yet here you are. I was given a number of a friend of a friend, a woman named Sandy. She had lost her son in a hiking accident five years prior to my loss and one day I felt an inner knowing that I was ready to connect.

The number I was given was her work number and Sandy was able to receive my call. Her gentle voice felt like a warm hand on my shattered heart. For the very first time I felt as if I didn’t need to go into explanation but rather exploration. She understood everything I was describing and uttered, "Me too." My words did not make her want to run away, divert the conversation or remind me of all the things I should be grateful for. She listened deeply and for the very first time I could finally inhale and exhale without it scorching my lungs.

What I needed was to witness another mother who was living through the loss of a child and to see that her heart had not stopped beating when her child’s had. How did she survive those early months and years? I knew I would be hanging onto her every word as I had within me endless questions and a tsunami of feelings.

Perhaps too you are concerned because you don’t know what to expect or you are worried that you might not be able to talk because of the lump in your throat or your tears. All of this is normal to feel and somehow when we begin to hear one another most of our worries and concerns slowly move into the background.

I am honored to hold this space with and for you. So much of our healing in grief and loss we must do alone, yet we also need those anchor places along the way too, to help us to remember that our anchor is not the only one on the vast ocean floor.

In understanding and care,

Joanie