I recently listened to the most glorious meditation offered by Sarah Blondin, on Substack. She referred to those seeds, poems, words that become a sustenance snack for her throughout her day. Often a few short words arriving as needed to take root and pass along.
Let yourself be well was what Sarah witnessed from within. I took note not too long ago, the author, Liz Gilbert, expressing that her wellness meant more to her than her personal happiness. It feels attainable and sustainable both of which attract me.
What a beautiful meditation to incorporate, on the inhale, let myself be well, on the exhale, let myself be well. Let those I love be well, let my relationships be well, let my body be well, let my friendships be well, let my mind be well, let my heart be well, let my perceptions be well, let my life be well. In allowing myself to be well, I am heeding a fuller expression of what is rising from within.
I too have oftn felt that joy and happiness can be deeply accessed and felt, yet may be fleeting and are not meant to be clung to. However, what I believe may be nestled underneath the surface of happiness is a longing for wellness. I recognize it as a depth of peace, a grounding tether that is hooked in beneath the crystalline layers of the earth. Helping to steady and hold me no matter what is occurring on the outside.
Exiled fragments and parts of me yearning for a homecoming are feeling safe to return and share their inclusion stories. This is a vital component of my wellness, nothing hidden for long in the shadows and understanding each has something to express. Whether it is truly news worthy or is from the National Inquirer has become my practice of discernment. I rest in the words my mom used to utter to me from time to time of what she might be in need of. Her response to that question was sometimes, “Joan, I need a few dull days.” I get it now as dull feels just right, nothing that requires my adrenal glands to spike and welcomes needed time and space to be with what is here right now. Intentionally inhabiting a mooring time before I pull up and push off once again.
I observe my mind slipping into what minds do, desiring to engage in a very competitive wresting match with a myriad of hot topics. Some of them being: trying to solve something that is not mine to fix, worrying, controlling, and energy zapping repetitive and looping thoughts to name a few favorites. Rather, I can choose instead to become aware without harsh judgment, course correct, and allow myself to be well.
“And did you get what what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel
myself
beloved on the earth.”
-Raymond Carver
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