I was offered such an amazing life hack from my mentor not too long ago. We were discussing the difference between receiving intuitive messages and how to discern when they are from our higher self and those benevolent beings working on our behalf or when they are from our ego.
Ego is needed, its job is to protect and it can go into heightened overdrive when it feels as if it needs to take over the driver’s seat. As soon as it understands that I know she’s there, that she has a seat at my table just not at the head, she calms down.
One of the issues that has been arising within me is that when I feel something come in that feels like truth and I don’t receive a green light to share so what my mentor suggested that she does is she has a page in her journal called, “Little Miss Ego.” It’s where she can write down all the things coming in for me that she knows, yet is not being asked to share. She laughed when she said that she can go back and read and say, “Yes, look at that, little Miss Ego, we were right on that one and give her the acknowledgment she craves. Or, on other occasions she’ll say, “Let’s read about the speeding bullet we dodged because we were way off on that.” A humbling moment for the two of them to remember that it can always work both ways.
I have an endless count of ongoing situations that I’m forever grateful that I knew to keep within myself and the obvious ones are always those fueled by fear and not love. The ego is doing its job of protecting and often creating an inner angst within me that if I don’t share the “thing” whatever the “thing” is that if something does happen I’ll forever live in guilt and remorse.
By writing down what is stirring within my ego self it helps to minimize my need to ever come from an “I already knew that or I told you so” place which is SO not helpful and it’s a human thing, yet something I try to avoid at all costs in my relationships because it simply is not loving, kind or asked for.
I had a situation not too long ago where I received a yellow light, which is caution for me when entering into a discussion and I jumped into it anyway. Not my smartest and best move that was for sure. I saw an opening, wanted to fling the entire window open and its fuel was fear, my fear and perhaps not even the person who was sharing. They used the word, boundary with me and said, “We can agree to disagree” and I got it immediately. I was able to circle right back to repair and followed up with an email where more thoughts came in about our exchange.
Gratitude was expressed for my clarifying and onward we go. It would have been so easy to have left it at that, yet I felt uneasy and even some sadness so that was what I expressed. I’ve come a long way with this and I’m still always growing into it. It’s becoming a powerful relationship tool for me not to hope that whatever happened can be swept under the rug, because it’s there and will most likely grow into something far more hurtful and difficult to clean up.
I wish I had used my Little Miss Ego journal on that one, rather than made the call, yet I did, and once again a humbling human opportunity for me. Always a beginner’s mind, never fully arriving anywhere as long as I’m living in my earth suit. I suppose that’s why we’re still here in case we’re ever wondering why? For moments such as this.
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