Internal Family Systems (IFS) founder, Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, was the guest on We Can Do Hard Things podcast in episodes #295 and #296. It was transformative for Glennon, Abby and Amanda to experience a session with him. All three of them quick studies as he described, yet seeing in action what IFS is about has me very curious and yearning to learn more.
Just as a family has members, we have these internal parts of ourselves that are each doing a job, and the overriding one has been to protect us when needed. There are no bad ones, they have become distorted out of their valuable states because of trauma/ burdens and they need to be able to find their way back to their original essence so that they may exhale along with us.
I have a part of me that has taken on the role of the worrier. It can find anything and everything to jump start and internalize. When I did a bit of the inquiry that I heard modeled on the podcast, it shared that its job was to keep me safe. That meant forewarning me about all potential pot holes and land mines. Yet, what actually occurs when this part is not checked in on is that it takes me out of the present moment and pushes me into the future which I absolutely possess zero control over.
My dream last night was of a wall full of shells resembling barnacles attached to the side of a boat, each shell representing an agnst, a worry. In the dream I had a tool that is used to spackle walls and I was using it to remove the the shells off the wall and toss them into a large garbage bag. As I took one off, the others rearranged themselves and it felt endless. Yet, what I was given was to ask if there was anything tangible I could do about one of my worries? It had created a tightness, a knot within that resembled a spring ready to unfurl at any time. There was, it was a simple text that I sent out, expressing my feelings about a safety issue, and it was received respectfully and with love. I could feel that shell staying within the confines of the garbage bag and not popping back out to seal itself on my worry wall. Will anything change? I’m unsure, yet I’m hopeful, as I followed the action I was offered, not deeming it to be futile and now I can exhale feeling I did my part for now.
There is a lot out there, podcasts, books, videos about IFS and I am going to be utilizing it as a practice. In the past I have become very familiar with my inner child, my critic and suspect there are some other stragglers asking to be acknowledged. The Self is in each of us as it’s our birth right. I envision it as my North Star, my wise one who knows what it knows without knowing how it knows, as Tosha Silver, often reminds us. Envisioning and trusting my Self sitting at the head of the table reassuring my parts. Most especially when they become triggered and want to move into their past roles. We are going to pause, have a conference call and allow full expression to see where we are presently. Engaging in negotiating, inviting and asking for full permission to heal.
I enjoyed those episodes too! I still have a couple of squirrelly parts that don’t want to share their secrets. I think they are afraid I will take good things away from them if they share. But an epiphany just now. I think I’ve been letting one of my managers do the negotiations instead of just loving them with my higher self.