A Litany of Remembrance by Roland B. Gittelsohn
In the rising of the sun and it’s going down,
We will remember you;
In the blowing of the wind and the chill of the winter,
We will remember you;
In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We will remember you;
In the blueness of sky and in the warmth of summer,
We will remember you;
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We will remember you;
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We will remember you;
When we are weary and in the need of strength,
We will remember you.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We will remember you.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We will remember you.
So long as we live, you too shall live,
For you are now a part of us,
As we remember you.
Remembering those who are no longer earth side is what keeps the heart tethers connected. Slowly, over time I began to notice that even if my mind might become a bit foggy and hazy with the facts, my heart and body could never allow me to forget.
When I’m outside working in the yard, I am reminded of my mom teaching me as a child to tune into and listen to my body for what it was in need of. This generally prevents me from over doing it and coming in before I’m totally out of juice. I can hear her asking me if I’m taking care of myself and reminding me of how I carry my groceries into the house so that I save my hands as that is where she began to feel her arthritis settling in. She also spoke of happenings when a flock of cardinals found their way to a bush sitting outside her kitchen window as that felt like a sign from my brother to her and brought her immense comfort. I have used that word, happenings, and now I hear those who never met my mom saying it too. It’s a way that keeps her vibrant and alive out in the world.
During football season I adore watching the games and I am forever grateful to my dad who encouraged me to become his football buddy. Dad taught the game to me so that it could be something that I understood and perhaps one day I might enjoy sharing the game with a partner. Also, I can never walk on the beach or swim in the ocean without thinking of him. Dad was my first swimming teacher as he had been a lifeguard in college and taught me to respect the ocean with its majesty and also its rip tides. What to do if I got caught in one and to trust that no matter how far out into the water it took me to not fight it, yet keep my eyes on the shore, relax my body and trust that I would find my way back to shore. This has become a metaphor for my life in so many aspects of it.
My brother, Rick, I can hear him asking, “Did they do that on purpose?” It always made us burst out into gales of laughter when one might wonder?Also his sage observation that a gathering was a success if no one passed out, fell down or threw up. His keen interest in others and seeming to know something about everything began with his love of reading encyclopedias as a young boy.
Douglas, my son, made it his mission to scare me with every opportunity he was given. This was because one day I had been peeking into his room as a child and he did not see me and turned around and I frightened him to tears. He was never going to let me live that moment down. My two eldest grandchildren take delight in following their uncle’s tradition and scare their mom and me every chance they have. Douglas’ love of amazing music and groups that many of his friends have told me about are their heart tethers to him. I cannot listen to Gomez or Neil Young without thinking of my son and remembering how he would pull me into his bedroom to listen to one of his favorite artists. His love of his family and traditions and always asking what was for Sunday dinner? As we make dinner on Sunday I can hear him asking me that question still.
Tell me about (fill in the loved one’s name) becomes a question worth asking as it allows the receiver of the inquiry a moment to pause and to remember their loved one’s life no matter how long or short. Those of us who remain earth side become their memory keepers and it’s a place we find ourselves in that is both meaningful and vital for our ongoing healing and life long connections to our beloveds.
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