My week fills me with a Tuesday volunteering position in a school library which serves wee ones to the eighth grade. It is where I land to be filled and to drop back into those twenty-five years I spent surrounded by the wisdom of sages in youthful costumes.
In the library the children come not only to read, browse, do their homework, yet to play chess as well. We have two boards and on one particular day I had some eager first graders desiring to play. A little first grade girl asked one of her friends if he would please instruct her.
Observing how innately he knew how to praise, demonstrate and also allow her ample time to sort out her next move. The temperate climate swiftly changed from engaged and calm to stormy. I noticed that a group of boys were surrounding her and their zealous nature of chiming in and analyzing what she should do next was clearly not what she was asking for.
I could hear her voice become strained so I ventured over to inquire. She shared that she was feeling very overwhelmed so we brainstormed and decided that if she desired help she would ask for it by simply uttering, “Help.” Everyone nodded in agreement and it lasted for a bit, yet slowly the onlookers could not contain themselves and once again much to her chagrin began advising her.
This little girl, age six, knew what she was needing and was succinct in her delivery. It was the gift of time to figure out her next move and she did not want any assistance unless she indicated otherwise.
There are nuggets of wisdom to behold within this encounter and I have been. Without a doubt there have been occasions where I I have found myself rushing in, offering opinions, assistance and perhaps that is the last thing needed. Help is a tricky customer, because it is a vulnerable act and takes courage to ask for it. However, when not requested it can actually weaken rather than fortify. Very much like the butterfly needing to struggle to emerge from its cocoon, thus strengthening its wings so that when it does emerge it can fly and survive.
A very wise little girl modeled what it was looking and feeling like for her to have others rushing in when it was not desired. Offering help is vital and a needed act when it’s going to fortify and strengthen, not weaken and diminish.
Such a weekly gift I’m offered if I’m open to receive it from these little healers disguised as children. It is no accident that I find myself in this season of life back among these power houses of innate wisdom. They are fresh, have not forgotten, nor allowed society yet to try to convince them that they know what they are thinking and feeling. We cannot know, unless we inquire. Just ask a child and absorb them into your marrow.
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