What Am I Doing Right?

(Richard and me in 1979. Offering my heart to him and keeping it wide open has been doing something right all these years.)

“I have nothing but questions these days. Lying on the forest floor I ask her, “what am I doing wrong?” She replies, “don’t be afraid, what have you been doing right?” ~ Sarah Blondin

How often do I hear myself go there as well? Why does it feel more natural to go to what is wrong, rather than to what is right? Why are we more at ease claiming and owning all that is not what it should be within us and the world, rather than all that is well?

I would suspect this is as unique as we are, yet I feel it is a worthy practice to take pauses to reflect and to name, first to oneself and then to another what feels right. There is something about hearing it said out loud that allows a beautiful entry point within.

Something I am doing right presently is not taking on and personalizing what is not mine. I am able to feel into it now and my body is my barometer. It gives me the cues as to what belongs to me and what clearly does not. I used to take everything on, everyone’s moods, emotions, needs and this was my ism of co-dependency sneaking in and often being very tricky. Disguising itself in fabulous costumes of loving care which I whole heartedly believed. However, when distilled down, its foundation was rooted deeply in fear and worry, not within love and trust. This will forever be a work in progress, yet the many quarter turns I am making are benefitting me and those I’m in relationship with.

Another aspect of my life that I’m doing right is heeding the wise counsel of my body. Not overriding it, speaking harshly to it and trusting that when it’s telling me it needs something to listen. Rest, more water, sunshine, smaller nutritious meals, move my body, quiet alone time, community, that I’m going to be so much better off to pay attention. When I don’t I can almost guarantee a cosmic two by four stopping me in the form of illness, an injury, whatever it takes to make me stop.

I had a call with my mentor shortly after a RED alert had occurred that I was engaging in old behaviors and I had some wishful thinking going on that I had processed it fully. Well, we found out differently, and there were remnants hanging on for dear life that we needed to help loosen the grip of. This is when I absolutely with one hundred percent certainty know that I cannot heal in isolation. There is only so much I can do solo and then I need a heart with ears who is curious and can sense those places within me needing another round of intentional listening so that I can release and heal.

A friend and I commented that something we are both noticing and doing right is getting back in alignment when we are out in the weeds in a shorter amount of time. What might have taken longer is ours a bit sooner at times, and if it’s not that’s okay too as it may be asking for more percolating time.

Might we each bow to the invitation and rather than going instantly to all that we are doing wrong, turn it around and uncover what is  actually going right in our lives? Imagine the ripple effect of this ongoing practice as we expand it beyond ourselves and out into all our relationships. Might it begin to become a natural part of our personal inventory, I’m game, how about you?

(Douglas and Sarah. Adding to my heart list of what I'm doing right. Forever brother and sister.)